oh god the rape fog is back!
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Randomize
