Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
