im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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