i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Who died my cat blue again?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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