Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
