I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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