fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
