After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Be still, my beating vagina.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
