Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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