I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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