i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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