It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
