I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
