well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
