P.S. I can't hear my feet
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Randomize
