TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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