Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
