I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
