why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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