the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize