lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
