if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize