i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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