I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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