I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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