Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
