I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
The uberlube is also flammable
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
