I wish I could punch you in the face.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
