No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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