My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
