Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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