well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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