if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
