Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
