pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
