Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
