You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
