If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
