Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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