im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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