My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Mom said you looked used
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
And then my night got REAL pukey
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
