We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
