I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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