It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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