After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
