He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
