If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Be still, my beating vagina.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
