Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
