D3 body, D1 cock
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize