dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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