White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
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