On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Sponge bath it is.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
