youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
