My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize