Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
