you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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