I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
