Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
