Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
