WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I need moral support for this bender
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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