Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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