there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
